I recently heard an interview of two parents who have opted to homeschool, one of them rather recently, in the last two years to be exact.

What struck me from the conversation was something we rarely discuss.

That is the subject of “school detox.”

We often pay attention to “school detox” for children who have been in a brick-and-mortar environment and are now transitioning into a homeschooling environment. For example, the parent and child learn a whole new way of handling time management and self-discipline, to name a few.

School Detox

But what was really, more interesting to me was that these two parents talked about “school detox “for themselves.

Have you ever thought about that?

The vast majority of us who homeschool, have come from a “school” mindset. This mindset is so pervasive that it clouds our very reason for homeschooling.

I mean if we chose to do the extraordinary, to homeschool and bravely take on the full responsibility of educating our own children, why would we copy the very model we are turning down?

Okay, I admit that there exist situations whereby parents homeschool for just a little bit in hopes of dovetailing their children back into the school system in a year or two. This homeschooling has its own goal, that to duplicate school at home.

However, for those of us who want to homeschool,  who feel called to homeschool we have a golden opportunity. We can radically transform the kind of education our children get. I have surveyed hundreds of families, more like thousands over my 25+ years of homeschooling and running my homeschool business.

Each and every one of those thousands of families are unique, each member of the family an unrepeatable event in all of time, a gift from our Lord. However, they are all united in the core philosophy that education is the important lynch pin to raising an adult that can bring their special gifts to the world to serve Him, for the common good.

When I look back over all the educational decisions involved year after year as I chose curriculum and signed up for extra curriculars, volunteered, etc. It was not the purely academic subjects that made the lasting character imprint on my children, it was living in an environment of love and faith.

This meant a deep trust and letting go of the conventional notions of what my children and in good part what I was allowing, orchestrating on a daily basis as a homeschool parent.

Trust

You do not need to be all things to your children, you do not need to control all daily activities and you do not need to pick out all subjects.

Okay I can hear some of you say, but Paola isn’t school detox just child led learning or unschooling?

I suppose it has elements of that methodology but what parent “school detox” has to do with is more about our intention and our practical day to day attitudes and preconcieved ideas we carry into our very own homeschool.

Do we begin with TRUST?

Our faith teaches and call us to surrender our will and unite it to God’s will.  Let us bring that into our educational practices as we are raising our children.

Despite our best efforts to chose the perfect curriculum, to know without a doubt we are not ruining our children by homeschooling, please remember that like you, your children have free will. Please never, ever forget that, and as such they will struggle, make bad choices, or wrong ones you do not agree with and “fail.”

Yes, even fail.

We need to let this happen. Of course, we let his happen while respecting the dignity of each individual child and their natural stages of development.

But how many of us hover over our children for way too long. We in turn have become “helicopter” parents and protect our children from life in a way that undermines the very reason we began homeschooling them in the first place.

What then is the answer to “school detox” for parents?

Take these 5 Steps

First step is to recognize your need to detox from the school mindset. When your child is immersed in something, not assigned, do you hover over them and get irritated that they are not doing what you assigned?  Stop yourself, pause, and recognize it. Instead, did you look at how they are exploring their environment, asking questions, figuring out solutions to problems? Applaud that instead!

Second step is to provide a rich environment that lends itself to wonder and discovery. Tons of books, open shelving, natural objects, music, artwork, arts and crafts materials, a space in the home to do constructions, building, and imaginative play, dress-up, pretend stores and kitchens.

Third, please actually write in your calendars time for silence and listening. This can take on the form of just an hour a day where nothing is scheduled out. Play truly is learning.

Fourth, jot down your observations in a notebook or journal. Then plan to look at the notes once a month, you will begin to see important patterns emerge in your own detox and in your child’s joy in learning.

Fifth, meet with each child individually to really listen to them and see what they are having a wonderful time learning this week or what are they really challenged with. Look for the opportunity to be their best cheerleaders and mentors, modeling for them, and offering guidance for overcoming or learning from their struggles.

Human beings are natural problem solvers, it is in our very nature, remember that and let it show itself to you when you let the child have time and silence to do so.

Lastly, please be patient with yourself, school detox is real and takes time. Give yourself that permission slip to take the time, the rewards are priceless!!!