How do you make your teens do their school work?
This is a question I get most often especially from the parents of older children, middle to high school age students.
I should begin by first adding a disclaimer. Your children have free will , and you are not perfect.
Seems like such a cop out to throw that punchline out before we delve deeper, but I firmly believe we have to first and foremost respect the dignity of the child. Each child is their own person, from the get-go.
This does not mean that they do not, nor should not, obey their parents. It is their calling and station in life to be obedient children and students. In turn, parents are tasked with the formation of these precious souls, and might I add primarily in matters of faith.
Now back to the question: How do you make your teens do their school work?
The answer is very simple. You cannot make them.
The Better Question…
The better question to ask is, “What tools, environment, and guidance can I add or provide to facilitate their education?”
The human mind has a natural thirst for discovery and learning. It is in our DNA to constantly observe our environment and find our ability to survive in it. As humans we not only have an innate desire to survive but we thirst to be happy.
This happiness is best fulfilled when it is oriented towards making contributions to others and eventually towards a desire to live only for a transcendental being, God. Truly, that results in lasting peace and the happiness we all desire.
Hear this homeschool mom! The ultimate success of your child’s education as very little to do with you! Yup! That seems so wrong but please hear me out on this one.
There exists an arbitrary set of criteria that we call “school.” It is organized by the date of our birth and dictates what should be learned and when it should be learned. What I am referring to here is education, not school.
Next week’s article discusses the difference between education and school. Suffice to say, what we both know in our hearts and in practice is that many schools today do not resemble, in any stretch of the imagination, the education of the whole person for the common good, that honors the dignity of the individual soul.
So what is a parent to do?
Each person is an Unrepeatable Event
Begin with a plan for the year that truly takes into consideration the individual student, their strengths and gifts. Then provide the tools needed to master these areas, in an age appropriate manner. AND leave them time to delve into these interests, to take the rein of their studies, own it, fall, move forward, fall again, move even closer and finally master the skill or concept.
Notice this has very little to do with you other than allowing this to happen in the environment you provide and the materials and opportunities you seek out for the individuals in your charge.
The opportunities are abundant. They also most often fall outside the school box. They are the lasting significant opportunities for real happiness and joy.
I can hear you…but Paola, what does that actually look like?
Say your child has expressed an interest in art. Make that your one goal for them that year, to expand their skills in art. This can include but is not limited to creating art as well as appreciating art. Make that the cornerstone for that year.
Look up local community programs that have art classes. Many local museums offer classes by master teachers on the weekends, or community centers have creative arts seasonally. Perhaps there is a local artist they could volunteer and work with, mixing paints, prepping canvases. Have them enter local art competitions so that you child can work towards a set goal. Go to museums with a purpose in mind, a time period or artistic medium to study. Plenty offer virtual tours you can take before you go to the museum.
In our area, the local College Art School is a two-year program that feeds into the well-known Pratt Institute in NYC. They offer high school students classes on Saturday mornings to taste a variety of artistic pursuits from graphic design to blacksmithing.
Does this sound great?? It is and it is possible!
Planting the Seeds…
Making this kind of plan for your child means you may have to skip some other subjects in the process. Big deal! The opportunity to grow and explore this interest and desire plants seeds for a sense of success and purpose.
This is exactly what my son did in high school. He went to a liberal arts college and continued to “do art” on his own. He is now married with five children and is gainfully employed as an artist!
I should pause here to add that incorporating or leading your curriculum with passions and desires cannot be solely for vainglory. Nope! It needs to be in service of God. We are endowed with gifts to serve Him in this world. Infuse that in the opportunities you offer, such as teaching younger siblings art lessons once a week. (Again this was something my son did too!)
Once a plan has been personally designed, breakdown the learning sequence into bit size pieces. AND remember, progress not perfection here. Then have them manage their own time. This is a period of discovery.
It is so important to also remember that the reason why teens procrastinate and neglect doing their assigned schoolwork is NOT because the plod and plan to think of the ultimate ways to torture their mother. No!
Teens are doing what comes naturally. They are so bombarded by the noise of a distractible world. They are feed a steady diet of entertainment, that if they are not educated in an entertainment mode then they won’t want to do it, it can wait.
However, on the flip side, it really boggles the mind when we think about how impatient they become when they want things. Immediate gratification mode for those pleasurable things in their life. Technology of today reinforces this. I found my bos in particular would fall particularly susceptible to this because of the computer games they played.
So let’s turn the tables here. Here is a checklist to hand them:
- There is no choice about being a student. It is your station of life right now!
- There is a plan of study to determine. Do it with their strengths and interest and set one major goal of growth for the year
- Then lay out the plan over 24- 32 weeks of study.
- Have them sign off each week on what they will commit to for each subject each day.
- Report the progress of each week’s work, end of week (Thursdays are better to give time to make up where they missed work).
- Have consequences ready for unexcused assignments.
- If they are taking on-line courses or have tests and milestones to hand in and miss them. They have to make up the time you set.
Now it’s your turn what have you found to help motivate your teens? Comment below.
If you are looking for help with homeschooling your teens, check out 25 year homeschool veteran Paola Ciskanik’s Homeschooling High School Workshop
To Learn More click here: https://catholichomeschoolonline.thrivecart.com/homeschooling-high-school/
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