Maintaining peace of heart as a mother during Advent may, in fact, seem a Christmas miracle.

Lists, activities, shopping, cleaning, cooking, and decorating threaten to turn the bustle into hustle. We can be worn well before we sing “Joy to the World” at midnight Mass.

Of course, none of us set out to live Advent this way. On the contrary, we make resolutions and buy devotionals and really do desire to live with Our Lady and the unborn Jesus in a quiet Advent.

So how can we reconcile the desire we have to live peacefully and prayerfully during Advent with the (often joyful) duties and responsibilities we have as the heart of the home during the season?

I have two suggestions: one external and one internal.

First, the practical. When it comes to maintaining peace in our hearts, it is helpful to make plans beforehand that are based in reality. The end of the previous sentence is especially important.

Set aside an hour or so before Advent begins. Write down all your family traditions, outside commitments during Advent, feast days you want to celebrate, and any larger hosting or shopping days. Then, edit that list. Choose only the most important. Remind yourself of your reality: your kids ages, your school load, your housework necessities, and your general end-of-year need for a break.

After you have narrowed down your list to a more manageable feast, add the items to your calendar. Start with the traditions or events that are tied to specific dates. Then, spread the remaining list items as evenly as possible throughout Advent. By incorporating and tackling a little bit at a time, it helps curb procrastination and overwhelm. Once I have this, I even make note of 1-2 things each week that I could let slide if needed. That way, if a child gets sick or we have unexpected guests, I know exactly what is most important to the family and what I can let go.

Know that the first list you made may one day be possible! There are seasons of life, and what may not be doable this year could be doable next year. Trust that your efforts, tailored and spread out, will be much more satisfactory to both you and the people in your home!

Second, the spiritual. As much as we steward our prayer time and the practical layout of Advent, stress will arise. We will become distracted. But we need not lose our peace indefinitely, telling ourselves that “perhaps next year will be peaceful.”

This year can still be peaceful! Even if you must begin again each day!

Before Advent begins, choose a spiritual mental image for the season. Perhaps it is Our Lady, heavily pregnant, closing up the house before departing for Bethlehem. Maybe it is the stable with the newborn King where you can hear His slow breathing while He sleeps on her chest. Perhaps you’re with the shepherds in the field, beholding the light of Heaven opened up.

Pray about it, and then choose one that particularly strikes your heart and holds your attention.

Then, throughout Advent, let that the place you go to refocus. There may be noise and demands swirling around you, but you can retreat to the quiet, contemplative image in your soul.

When you’re overwhelmed, place yourself in the scene you chose. When you feel pressure, lighten your mind by contemplating the heart of Christmas. When you get distracted, recall your mind to the image that moves your heart to prayer and adoration.

Dwell in this place with Jesus morning, noon, and night. Ask the Holy Spirit to continue to guide you to Himself through that image and your faithful recall and contemplation of it.

And watch how He brings you peace, no matter the circumstances.

*** This article is just one of the beautiful and wise articles you will find in this year’s Advent and Christmas Guide.

CLICK HERE FOR THE PDF: 2023 Advent and Christmas Guide

About Olivia:

Olivia Spears lives in Kentucky with her husband and four children. She holds degrees in theology and catechetics from the Franciscan University of Steubenville, educates her kids at home, and relishes a brimming flower garden. She is the founder of Into the Deep, where you can find catechetical resources that help Catholic parents build a legacy of faith in their homes.